Most folks using avast and vnc software are probably using it between themselves and friends/relatives (like szc). I use it between machines here at home so I can run them from one central machine.

These cases have nothing to do with using VPN typically and mostly rely on the security checks built into the vnc products (many of which are close relatives to each other). It is typically these settings, port settings and home NAT routers that are the cause of the problems. I have not yet seen a vnc issue where it was demonstrated that avast getting in the way.