system
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Nancy,
Is the AIM your using part of the AOL installation or is it an “add on” program that can be downloaded.
The “downloadable” one sometimes does not integrate with other programs. I have not heard of the “pop up” behavior and I use the “downloadable” one for years.
There is a setting within the AIM preferences menu to “Start AIM when Windows”. This should keep it from popping up the Buddy list until you want it to appear.
If problem persists, try a Google search or send an email to AOL Support.
As an afterthought, there is a Firewall within the AOL for Direct IM connections. IF set, it can give you difficulty.
You can find it in the Preferences on the botton of the left side panel.
Good luck.