CraigB
1621
Very funny Bob ;D even though I disagree with the first two moral assumptions 
Just for you Craig:
A DAMN FINE EXPLANATION
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman and she was upset. ‘You are a disrespectful pig!’ she cried. ‘How dare you do this to me – a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce right away!’
The husband replied, ‘Hang on just a minute, love, so at least I can tell you what happened.’
‘Go ahead,’ she sobbed,’ but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!’
And the husband began – ‘Well, I was getting into the car to drive home, and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days.
So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments.
Since she needed a good clean-up, I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that, I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes, so I threw them away.
Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t wear because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t wear because I don’t have good taste.
I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t wear just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t wear because someone at work has a pair the same.’
The husband took a quick breath and continued - 'She was so grateful for my understanding and help that as I walked her to the door, she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said …
'Please … Do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?
Eddy
1623
And all the dealers where females ;D
CraigB
1624
I like that one too, damn those ungrateful women ;D ;D ;D
I wish I could post some of the beaut ones I’ve received recently but they’re a bit unfitting for this forum, political correctness right out the door
mchain
1626
Not sure what to make of this one or if it is even funny (or not):
http://boingboing.net/2017/05/17/prophylactic-bricking.html
CraigB
1627
Not funny but it’s crazy ridiculous :
A modern love story
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you.”
The husband texted back to her: “I’m on the toilet. Please advise.”
mchain
1630
DavidR mentioned he used this in a recent post: https://giphy.com/gifs/hungry-cookie-monster-EKUvB9uFnm2Xe
(Just kidding)
By now, everyone knows that there are all sorts of investigations going on regarding the current White House.
It’s easy to be confused about how congressional and other crack governmental investigations work (or don’t),
so this should clear things up for you in less than three minutes.
https://youtu.be/6F0Hv9TUrfs
You’re welcome.
mchain
1632
Too complicated to follow, but thanks.
DavidR
1633
Pretty clear to me, we need to investigate, well, everything. That way we don’t have to get down to the difficult job of running the country.
It’s called double talk. (Something politicians are famous for.) The are of saying something that sounds important but means nothing.
No disrespect to the American people but to be honest before and during the election I knew something bad or worse gona go down the track and drum roll at present it’s going down hill. FBI investigates Donald Trump’s son in law, and Trump himself is being investigated by FBI, collisions between Russia and America regarding the elections and all the other crap in between. Why can’t the election be fair during that time? I will never ever understand. To be honest, if Donald Trump gets fired for being president, because I heard in the news that he may not be president for long time. I don’t know who will step up to be the president?
Pondus
1639
