Pondus
1641
I guess Trump is one of them ;D
mchain
1642
Nah. Now you know who elected him.
Asyn
1643
DavidR
1644
Great 
Though somewhat strange to see something loosely connected to security in the ‘Was so funny I had to post’ topic.
Asyn
1645
Hi Dave, I had a good laugh while reading it, but it certainly would fit in other threads as well.
DavidR
1646
I just thought it ironic that something serious (security related and all their hacking tools having created havoc) could make us laugh.
Pondus
1647
DavidR
1648
The clip directly following that one ‘Funny Animals’ is great.
CraigB
1649
Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Air Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I’m so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don’t know how this has happened, but we have 183 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we have received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience.
When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight.
Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available.
CraigB
1650
A woman from Tasmania who was a tree hugging, Greenie purchased a piece of bush near Deloraine. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.
As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist, a Greenie, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor re-appeared.The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?”
He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Management Service, and the local council before I could remove old-growth timber from a ‘recreational area’ so close to a Waste Treatment Facility.
T-G-I-F vs. S-H-I-T
A business man got on an elevator.
When he entered, there was a blonde already
inside who greeted him with a bright, “T-G-I-F.”
He smiled at her and replied, “S-H-I-T.”
She looked puzzled and repeated, “T-G-I-F,” more slowly.
He again answered, “S-H-I-T.”
The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so she smiled her
biggest smile, and said as sweetly as possibly, “T-G-I-F.”
The man smiled back to her and once again, “S-H-I-T.”
The exasperated blonde finally decided to explain.
‘T-G-I-F’ means ‘Thank Goodness It’s Friday.’ Get it, duuhhh?"
The man answered, "‘S-H-I-T’ means ‘Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday’
bob3160
1654
A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a “handy woman” and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. “Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch.
How much will you charge me?” Delighted, the girl quickly responded, “How about $50?”
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she would need were in the garage. The man’s wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, “Does she realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?” “That’s a bit cynical, isn’t it?” he responded.
The wife replied, “You’re right. I guess I’m starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes.” A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money. “You’re finished already??” the startled husband asked. “Yes,” the blonde replied, “and I even had paint left over so I gave it two coats.
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her along with a $10 tip.
“Thank you,” the blonde said, “And, by the way, it’s not a Porch, it’s a Lexus.”
ehmen
1655
CraigB
1656
A BLONDE’S DIARY
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight and nearly strangled me.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels…
Helllloooo!!!.. bottles won’t fit in printer!!!
March
Got really excited… finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…
Box said ‘2-4 years!’
April
Trapped on escalator for hours …
Power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid… wrong instructions…
8 cups of water won’t fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing…
Couldn’t find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition…
Learned later that the other swimmers cheated - they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm…
Darn car filled up with water because the convertible top was open.
September
The capital of California is ‘C’… isn’t it???
October
I hate M & M’s… They are so hard to peel.
November
Couldn’t call 911.
‘Duh’… there’s no ‘eleven’ button on the stupid phone!!!
December
Baked Christmas turkey for 3 days. It was burnt to a crisp.
I followed the instructions which said bake 1 hour per Kilo and I weigh 72 kg!
Pondus
1658
DavidR
1660
Great, a whole new slant on a porta potty.
