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David, no need to explain… wanting to know why and how things work helps us to learn. Its definitely how and why Ive learned. 
I think the only way for now to update to 4.5 is to download the servers.def file, copy it into the setup folder, and run the program update. The update notice she is getting at bootup… Im abit confused I think? That may only be for program updates for the 4.1 build itself. I dont think it will update it to 4.5.
The servers.def in that thread that I pointed you to is for the beta of 4.5. They will be releasing 4.5 soon. Until then its how you update 4.1. Normally the program updates dont work this way… its much more automatic, and yes just clicking on the update notice would do it then.
The others will jump in and add to this so be sure to check back in
REad thru the threads… lots of good info here… and welcome!